Psychological

I think that it is a combination of both: Physical and Psychological things that get it the way of my walking and moving like a normal person. If I had to pick one over the other at this point in time, I would choose Psychological.

No matter what I am doing, I am constantly thinking of my sons Camden and Bowdoin Richardson and all the time I have lost with them. If you haven't read my book, you really should to understand everthing that the bitch did to me and my sons and continues to do to us. Not only were my sons told that I was dead on numerous occassions so was my kids' schools and their friends and acquaitences' parents. How can anyone be so sick and demented??

The worst part now is she is brainwashing my sons against me. Telling them that Daddy doesn't help, he doesn't pay child support and he never wants to talk with you or be with you. All blatant lies!!!!!!!

I often think about all this and so much more in regards to my sons as I walk. It depresses me and hurts me on a myriad of different fronts. No wonder my doctor gave me a happy pill. As I walk I often think what if my sons were with me and I am attempting to anticipate the unforseen. In short, I am thinking too much. Jerald wants me to walk without thinking. Much easier said than done.

Psychological or Physical??

I hit another bucket of balls today at Toddy Brook Golf course and I hit them well. Much more consistent than last time. For the most part they were straight and reasonable long for an amputee.

As long as I hit the ball with a closed stance with my left (artificial foot) ahead of my right (real) foot I hit dead straight. If I exaggerated the close stance, I could hit the ball to the right and if I stood square to the ball, I hit to the left. This should help me when I actually play the course. I still need to firmly trust my prosthetic leg by shifting my entire weight onto it as I swing. I am getting closer but I am not there yet.

This leads me to the question is it physical or psychological limitations that are in the way now preventing me from doing everything that I want to do? What do you think?

Boating

I have been boating 4 or 5 times this year and I am getting better in terms of getting in and out of the boat with my Prosthetic leg. I have used my Rheo Knee rather than my water leg which will probably piss of my prothesist..... but oh well......

No I don't mean that. If I was alone, I would definately use my water leg or if I went to a place that I was unfamiliar with, I would wear it too. For the most part, I have gone to places with docks and when I haven't, I have worn boots......

The toughest part thus far is the walk down the dock which is a large decline and is somewhat unstable. Declines and hills are by far the toughest thing that I have to do. Why are these so difficult??.

I surprised the hell out of myself and my father at Thompson lake where their wasn't a dock so we beached the boat and I got out of the boat by climbing over the windshield and stepping on the closed bow and then stepping way down to the ground. It doesn't seem like much to people with two real legs, but it meant a ton to me.